Forgive Me Love
by wsm021
Summary: She cursed herself for being so naïve, for being so trusting. She couldn’t even remember how many times the girls at work had told her to keep an eye on him saying he was too attractive to be left to his own devices. *Oneshot


Disclaimer: Though I wish at 11:11 every day and night, I still don't own glee =(

**_Rachel_**

She'd had doubts in the beginning. It was normal to have doubts about anything uncertain and they had definitely been uncertain. It had been years before he'd even wanted a commitment. He just asked that they acknowledged their feelings for one another. But she wasn't stupid, if her admitting that she was interested in him meant so much it was only a matter of time before he wanted more from her. She spent most of her time with him, even before they had gotten into their unusual situation. He was her best friend, and she was his. That didn't change as time went on, which is what broke her heart the most.

The middle was nothing remarkable by normal standards but for them it was ground breaking. They didn't really fight, and for some reason she thought they would constantly be at each other's throats. They went on dates and her dads liked him and his mom wanted them to get married and his sister thought she was the best thing he'd ever brought home. They were happy and looking back it made her sad to remember because while she'd been happier than ever he'd been faking it. Her teenage mind had deluded her once into thinking that her life would begin and end with Finn Hudson, and she almost wished it had. Losing Finn hadn't hurt half as much as this.

Now the end is what mattered, it's what had brought her here. She stared into his eyes and knew instantly that they didn't have the answers she needed. This was it, everything they'd been through, was all for not because he'd never wanted it. She felt like a fool. She loved him, she loves him and all along he'd stayed with her out of what… pity, obligation, ease? She feels the need to vomit, so she does and slams the door so he knows not to follow her into the bathroom. Three years. And that was just officially, they'd played the cat and mouse game for years before that.

She took the ring off of her finger and slid it under the door, glad she'd been smart enough to lock it. She felt dirty, and she knew a shower wouldn't be enough to get rid of the filth and grime that came with being used. She took her clothes off anyway. The darkest corner in the bathroom was a place in between the sink and the bathtub. She knew if she brought her legs to her chest she could be completely hidden in that space. She crosses her hands, closes her eyes and waits for him to stop trying to get in. She knows he won't break down the door, he doesn't care enough for that. She knows his knocking is half hearted and he really just feels like shit because he's making her cry. She reaches over and turns on the water in the shower so at least he doesn't have to hear her.

She wonders how it happened. Was it one of the nights he'd said he was working late on a project? Or was it when he was supposed to be out with the guys having drinks? There's a part of Rachel that thinks he may had been sick enough to sneak out of their bed at night and go to her. She wouldn't have woken up, she cursed herself for being such a heavy sleeper. She cursed herself for being so naïve, for being so trusting. She couldn't even remember how many times the girls at work had told her to keep an eye on him saying he was too attractive to be left to his own devices. How many times had someone told her the only thing stopping them from going after him was the fact that she was their friend? Well at least she knew it wasn't one of her friends, that at least it wasn't Santana or worse Quinn.

She hears a phone ring and the ring tone tells her the number isn't saved into his phone. She doesn't expect him to answer and when he does she almost turns off the water to hear him better. She's glad she doesn't because what she does hear is painful enough. "_I cant. …another time? …same place. Taking care of something. Yeah no I'll call you."_ She barely turns around in time before she's throwing up again and some of it gets in her hair. She sits in the shower and wonders how long it will take the water to turn ice cold. Rachel wonders what she looks like. What her voice sounds like. Unlike most woman she can't hold on to the hope that she's fat and ugly, because that so wasn't his style.

She can hear him moving around the room, and then there's a heavy thud and the sound of a zipper. She forces the bile down when she realizes he's packing. This was it. He wasn't going to fight any harder for what they had. And really why should he, when he'd never wanted it to begin with. She hears the zipper again and she knows it's been a while because the water is beginning to cool. The temperature is beginning to match the blood in her veins so she makes no move to get out of the ice bath. She ignores the knock on the door, he doesn't really want to come in and they are way past pretences.

_"I need you to come over here. She's locked herself in the bathroom. Doesn't matter, just can you get over here or not? Yeah well we're past that. I'm already packed. I'll wait til you get here. Bye"_

He'd called in reinforcement. She wonders whose job it will be to clean up his mess. She wonders how she let herself become someone's mess to clean up.

She heard the door open but she was too numb to pay attention to what was being said. She heard banging on the door and the sound of a car pulling out of the driveway told her it wasn't him. She stared at the doorknob and willed herself to get up and open it but she just didn't have the energy,

There was loud bang and a slapsh in the water as a sliver of wood landed in the tub. There were arms around her lifting her out of the bath and she didn't have it in her to be embarrassed by her nakedness. Kurt laid her on the bed and the boys left the room while she dressed. Quinn let him know when it was safe to come back in and she tried to tell them she would be fine and they could go home but the words wouldn't come out.

"It's okay sweetie, he's gone." Mercedes voice startles her. She hadn't realized she'd been looking around the room. And then it hits her. **_ He was gone._**

**_Noah_**

It had started because he was sick of her eye fucking his best friend every goddamn second. It was annoying enough when she didn't have a chance but it was ten times worse when they were a couple. He hadn't meant to break them up (okay he had but still). He just thought it would be funny to see how far he could push her. So he would brush against her in the halls, and play with her hair in glee and pick her up in the mornings when Finn went running. All completely innocent stuff, that drove her crazy. It wasn't long before she was too busy thinking about why he was acting so strange to pay any attention to her boyfriend. He thought that would be the end of it but he was wrong.

He'd been attracted to her, and they weren't sixteen anymore, she didn't need to be in a relationship to get down and dirty. She was his best friend, they were drunk and the house was empty. The second time there were people home but they had been sleeping. The third time they were completely sober. The sex was mind blowing and her room was across from his so it was frequent. Life was good for Puck until she had decided to start dating again. Then life wasn't so good.

He could get a woman to drop her panties by looking at her the right way (I mean look at him) but Rachel was the best he'd ever had, she was a freak with a high sex drive that could go an entire day off four hours of sleep. There was no way he was going to let some little Broadway punk that was probably gay ruin his life. So he told her that he didn't want her seeing anybody, and she listened. It was a month before she started seeing someone again saying that he was either her boyfriend or he wasn't. That's when things had gotten complicated, he didn't want a relationship but he did want her. So he would give her what she wanted as long as she was his and his alone.

Rachel had hinted at their anniversary for weeks and he had known that a simple dinner at her house wouldn't cut it. They'd been together for three years and that meant something huge. So obviously the celebration had to be just as big. He tried not to think too much about everything that was happening, that was about to happen. He wasn't ready for marriage but when you're in twenty-eight in a steady relationship with a nice Jewish girl, well you didn't really have many other options. It wasn't until she said yes that he realized just how much he was in love with her.

It scared him. He needed her like he needed air. He woke up whenever she got out of bed, and he could tell by the way she sighed in the morning whether she wanted him to join her in the shower or not. Whenever they fought it broke his heart, and a part of his soul died the few times he'd made her cry. He couldn't imagine his life without her and he was terrified and stupid and Puck. He didn't like needing her, he felt like an ass to be so dependent.

It wasn't the first time his secretary had come on to him, but it was a month before the wedding and he had felt the walls closing in on him with each passing week. So he'd given in and fucked her up against the window of his office after everyone had gone home. She'd sucked him off and let him be as rough with her as he wanted. He made sure not to kiss her though and kept his mouth focused on other areas of her body. They went at it for hours until they were too exhausted to continue. She got dressed and left. He got in the car and cried.

Rachel had already been asleep by the time he got home. He was about to get into bed with her when he realized what he must smell like. He'd taken thirty showers in the two weeks it took to tell her what he'd done, and none of them made him feel any cleaner.

It was an accomplishment to actually make someone sick and he felt his stomach drop as she ran into the bathroom and emptied her stomach. She locked the door, and when he saw her engagement ring slide across the floor it took everything he had not to break the door down. He'd known telling her would ruin things but he couldn't let her marry him without knowing. She hadn't let him explain, she hadn't let him tell her it was a mistake and that he loved her more than his own life. She listened just long enough to know he'd been unfaithful and locked herself away from him.

He couldn't ignore the call that came in but rescheduled the business meeting for later in the week. He waited three hours for her to come out, hoping she wasn't actually in the shower because there was no way the water was still warm. He packed everything, he didn't want to make things harder on her by coming back later to get whatever he'd left behind. He tried one more time in vain to get her to open the door before he called Quinn.

_"[hey puck] I need you to come over here. [why, what's wrong?] She's locked herself in the bathroom [you son of a bitch, what did you do?!]. Doesn't matter, just can you get over here or not? [No, fix this yourself] Yeah well we're past that. [Are you serious?] I'm already packed.[Noah… what did you do?] I'll wait til you get here. [I'm on my way ]. Bye"_

He didn't want to leave but really what choice did he have. Rachel wanting nothing to do with him. Quinn hadn't come alone and Matt and Kurt looked like they were ready to attack. He rested his forehead against the door and tried to send all the love he felt through to her. They were getting impatient so Puck moved away from the door and tried to explain to Quinn what had happened but she wasn't in the mood to hear how he'd crushed her best friend's heart two weeks before the wedding. Kurt tells him to leave, they're not going in after her until he's long gone so he gets into his car and drives away.

His phone starts to vibrate as he crosses the bridge out of town. He pulls over to the side of the road and opens it. He knew it the moment she looked into his eyes and begged him to tell her he was lying, that it was some kind of twisted joke and he just wanted to see her reaction. He didn't need a text from Quinn to tell him she was done. **_They were done_**

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